Relocate for Work?

So, my firm offered me a new position.  But, it requires relocation.  And I'm pretty happy here.  So, I made a list of pros and cons and decided that I don't want to relocate.  Oh, and the job is on Mars.

Reasons why I don't want to move to Mars:
1.  The internet connection there is spotty, so I won't be able to play Call of Duty with my friends.
2.  Oxygen - I'm a big fan of it, and I hear there's not much there.
3.  I don't think I can lug all the books up there that I'll want to read for the rest of my life, and I think the ticket is one-way.
4.  That whole gravity thing is really going to mess up my jump-serve in volleyball.