Reasons Why I'm Amazing
1. I can teleport.
2. I make a kick-ass lasagna.
3. I don't sweat.
2. I make a kick-ass lasagna.
3. I don't sweat.
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tvsgweblog on
Hey Tort,
HaHa! If you make kick-ass lasagne, you can sweat all you want. Teleport all lasagne to TV's Blog--Ain't Life Grand!
By the by, I really enjoy reading your "stuff". I'm not too sure about this blogging buisness, though. I'm sure you know more about it than this novice does. Are we co-signing each other's bullshit? Thanks for the laughs!!! tv
HaHa! If you make kick-ass lasagne, you can sweat all you want. Teleport all lasagne to TV's Blog--Ain't Life Grand!
By the by, I really enjoy reading your "stuff". I'm not too sure about this blogging buisness, though. I'm sure you know more about it than this novice does. Are we co-signing each other's bullshit? Thanks for the laughs!!! tv
tortfeasor on
Awww, TV. That's sweet. I'm glad you enjoy reading my drivel. Those last two (not the list) I wrote over a decade ago. Found them in a box in my closet and decided that typing them up might just get the creative juices flowing. Not sure that I know more about blogging than anyone - I just started last week.
P.S. - The lasagna's in your fridge. Help yourself, and let me know if you want more.
P.S. - The lasagna's in your fridge. Help yourself, and let me know if you want more.
tortfeasor on
Cavutto, here's where you're wrong. Sweaty people just can't be amazing. They slip right out of your hands!
I, however, am not sweaty. Ergo, I am amazing.
I, however, am not sweaty. Ergo, I am amazing.
tortfeasor on
Well, I'm not giving it up. You'll have to get your own teleportation power. I have to admit, though, out of all of my super powers, teleportation is my favorite. The ability to wear a midriff-bearing shirt is my second favorite.
tortfeasor on
Yes, Cavutto, you're right - beer does sweat. However, sweating is not what makes it amazing.
On the contrary, sweating is a flaw of beer, as it is for people. If it didn't sweat, it would stay deliciously cold, and I wouldn't want to waste the bottom half of the bottle because it had sweat out all of the coldness. I mean, what kind of retard prefers warm beer? No one in his right mind.
What makes beer amazing is not the sweating, but the delicious taste and the way it completely lowers my inhibitions to the point where I don't care that people are staring at the hair growing out of the wart on the center of my face. Beer makes me wish I had two warts on the center of my face with long, dark hairs growing out of them, because beer makes me invincible.
On the contrary, sweating is a flaw of beer, as it is for people. If it didn't sweat, it would stay deliciously cold, and I wouldn't want to waste the bottom half of the bottle because it had sweat out all of the coldness. I mean, what kind of retard prefers warm beer? No one in his right mind.
What makes beer amazing is not the sweating, but the delicious taste and the way it completely lowers my inhibitions to the point where I don't care that people are staring at the hair growing out of the wart on the center of my face. Beer makes me wish I had two warts on the center of my face with long, dark hairs growing out of them, because beer makes me invincible.
Cavutto on
The sweat doesn't come from in the beer silly, it comes from the air outside the beer. Warm air can hold more moisture than cold air, and the air surrounding the beer is generally colder than the rest of the room, which causes condensation.
So sweating isn't a flaw of the beer, it's a flaw of the beer's insulation...or at least a flaw of cold air. Cold air is so weak.
So sweating isn't a flaw of the beer, it's a flaw of the beer's insulation...or at least a flaw of cold air. Cold air is so weak.
